I'm afraid of sharks, but not the dark (ME ver)
by Miss A. Vetiver
Summary: Very very very AU. No spaceships, no mass relays, no reapers and so on (for now). Shy archaeologist, socially awkward, introvert Shepard meets Liara T'Soni - go-getting talkative marketing manager. Can they become friends after what happened on Earth (or any other planet you imagine)?
1. Prologue

**There's old album of Wim Mertens entitled "For Amusement Only". Normally he writes piano music, very beauty, just check Struggle For Pleasure or 4 Mains. However, in 1980 he made that odd album. No piano. Just his fun with 8-bit sounds.**

**This story is that kind of MY amusement. It's a daughter story of my main project, which is not Mass Effect FF. It's post-apocalypse story, about humans. Anyways, I was thinking "Hey, what if I'm gonna modify it a little, and make a side-project about Mass Effect AU, very very AU where everything is different?". Why Shepard can't be introvert, shy and socially awkward person? Introverts need their heroes too! Why Liara can't be go-getting and annoying and talkative and shit?**

**So here, please enjoy it! Dunno how long I'm gonna keep this side project, but hey, as I said it's for my amusement only :)**

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**PROLOGUE**

"Fuck…" Shepard rolled over on her left side, back to the right, tossing and turning. She opened her eyes and stared into the darkness.

_Is it 3:37 again?_ She blinked nervously, and strained to see shadows where the windows should be, or on the ceiling and walls. The terrifying darkness reigned. Recently, she had been waking up at 3:37, watching the shadows and lights, listening, unable to regain sleep. Sometimes she would trail like a zombie around the house; now the darkness made walking around the apartment hazardous, as she could bump into a cabinet or other piece of furniture.

"Fuck …" She mumbled again and rubbed her eyes. Jane turned on her side, curled up and hugged the pillow. Her neck hurt her terribly. Under normal conditions she would grope for the phone lying on the cabinet and check the time. Or walk to the kitchen and look at the clock on the stove while opening fridge. But since the last few days nothing was normal, or at least it was far away from the normality of this century.

_I bet it's 3:37..._ She thought, and scratched her leg. Shepard thought of a bath and a cup of hot chocolate, which usually helped her fall back asleep when she awoke between 3 and 4 at night. She thought of the ginger essential oil blooming in the hot water and how her tense neck muscles would slowly relax. Such ordinary pleasures were at this point simply inaccessible.

Wrapping up in the quilt, she rolled over and sank her face in the pillow. The sheets still smelled fresh. The delicate floral scent had allowed for a moment of focus on something pleasant. She pressed the pillow to herself harder and thought about a hot bath, about hiding her whole body under water, the foam spilling over and outside the bath. A warm croissant for a breakfast, a warm cup of coffee flavored with orange... hot coffee... a warm cup of coffee... hot fresh brewed coffee... coffee with milk foam…

She rolled over in the bed again. It had been four days since she had a real cup of coffee. What she missed, even more than the coffee, were hot baths. As she pondered all the things she couldn't have any more, she noticed the oppressive darkness was disappearing. On the wall, the first shadows formed, and gradually she could see the silhouette of furniture in the bedroom. Somewhere above the city the sun was rising. She couldn't get hot bath at the moment, but warm coffee? That could be made quite real.

The very thought of fragrant coffee and the wonderful jolt that she always felt after drinking it fueled her to action. Instead of being stuck in the house all day the next day, doing nothing but pull-ups on the bar and lifting weights (her activities constrained because the work was impossible), Shepard decided to leave. Hot coffee was waiting somewhere outside the city, somewhere in some pleasant place, somewhere where, instead of screams, the rustle of trees would be heard.

"Why did I not think to do this before…" She mumbled, and sat up. She opened a bottle of water, and took a drink. She got up and slowly walked toward the closet. She pulled out a large backpack. Even in the dark she didn't have a problem finding underwear, shirts, and trousers. Shepard was obsessive in ordering the shelves and drawers of her clothes. First drawer: perfectly arranged panties; second: socks, black ones on the left, and the others on the right. The third shelf from the top was T-Shirts, and trousers were below.

She packed a few more essentials and then padded into the bathroom. In the depths of the apartment it was still very dark yet, so she felt around for a bottle of water near the sink. She brushed her teeth and quickly rinsed her face. In the mirror she saw only a slightly discernible outline of her head. She didn't miss seeing her face every morning in the mirror. In darkness she didn't feel the urge to punch the mirror with a fist.

Jane was almost ready; she opened a second closet and pulled out a motorcycle jacket. Then dressed quickly, threw on shoes, and walked into the room which served as a private gym. Shepard was just as obsessive about taking care of her body as she was in organizing the things in her closet. She looked around and found a new, just unpacked, helmet with small red and white stripe, lying on a box in the corner of the room. She was ready...

Now she had to face the worst thing - getting out of the house and dashing down the stairwell to the garage, with the hope of not running into anyone. Normally, people at this time would still be sleeping, but in the past few days a lot had changed and there was no longer any normality, although the Shepard's concept of normal had never really coincided much with the rest of society.

With the backpack on her shoulder, she grabbed the flashlight standing on the shoe cabinet, gently closing the door behind her and making sure to lock all of the locks. She felt her way down, using the stairwell wall and the railing. She walked as quietly as she could, praying not to encounter anyone in the darkness. She opened the door and looked from side to side. It was still dusk, but in a few minutes it should be pretty light. She knew she would have to hurry if she did not want to meet too many people in the city. She was lucky; the block was empty. Just a few steps and she would be at the door to the garage. One, two, three, four, five steps. The keys in her hand become hot and sweaty. She had almost reached the door when she heard the screams. It sounded like a group of fans returning from a sports match. She had to hurry; running into them would not be good at all. The keys fell out of her hand, and suddenly she felt sick and hot. Regaining her composure, she quickly grabbed the keys and bolted to the garage. She opened the door and hurried to close it behind her. She was safe again.

_Coffee, coffee, coffee_, the mantra repeated in her head. She breathed deeply several times and listened, trying to hear what was happening outside the garage door. The screams stopped. She took out a pocket flashlight and walked over to the rack. She took the flashlight in her teeth and started picking out the items she needed. Tent, sleeping pad, sleeping bag - all lay ready to be mounted on her motorcycle . Shepard put her flashlight on the shelf and went to her ride. Gently she stroked the saddle and smiled.

"Hey there, did you miss me?" She whispered and patted the gas tank of her off-road Yamaha Tenere . - "With your full belly we can go somewhere far away from this madness. What would you say about the mountains? Stay away from people. Just us and nature? What do you think, Normandy? Like in old archaeological dig times.."

She took the tent and other things, and strapped them to the motorcycle. Using the flashlight, Shepard made sure she had everything she would need for a trip into the wilderness. She decided to take a hatchet and kindling to make a fire. Then searched her pockets and made sure that she had her pocket knife. Finally she put on the helmet, took several deep breaths, and was ready to open the garage doors. She opened it as quietly as she could. The brightness dazzled her. She narrowed her eyes, giving them time adjust, she panicked a little. At this point, anyone could easily approach her, and she was completely defenseless. She blinked rapidly, as she grew accustomed to the light of day. Luckily, no one was there to attack her at the moment.

Lightly, as much as it was possible with 200kg metal, she moved the Yamaha out of the garage, and shut the door again. She hopped on and started the engine. Luckily, everything worked without fail. She wondered for a moment whether to turn on the lights. On the one hand, riding would be much safer; on the other, she was much more visible . She decided to use them, anyway. Now she had to quickly get out of town. And it won't be an easy task. It could be 6 in the morning by this time; more people would be getting out onto the streets. And the bike, with its full tank of gas, was tasty morsel. She accelerated, anxious to reach an arterial road.

The stress was giving her a headache. In her mind, Shepard told herself over and over again, _Soon, very soon . We can do it Normandy. A few hours and a rest somewhere far away from it all. And I finally get to drink a good cup of coffee again…_


	2. Chapter 1 - Shepard

**PART 1**

**CHAPTER 1 - SHEPARD**

Shepard clutched the handlebars of the motorcycle. She was driving far too fast, but she wanted to get out of the city as soon as possible. At the next speed bump she nearly lost control of the machine. Her stomach was in knots, and she still had the feeling that at any moment, someone might jump out from any side and try to push over the bike. She didn't know why she had such thoughts; maybe she had seen too many movies.  
But in addition to the police, there was now also the army on the streets; perhaps the city during the day was even more dangerous than the worst of its districts at night?

For a moment a stupid idea flashed through her head: to remove her helmet and drive carefully, listening to make sure no one was lurking nearby. Shepard accelerated a little and left the alley. She felt nauseous and unnaturally hot. Jane wanted to reach the beltway as soon as possible, and then get on the highway.

It was an early summer morning, but looters and hooligans had certainly already gone out hunting. It didn't matter what time it was. Nobody cared about breaking a window in broad daylight. Nobody cared whether someone cut the fuel line in a parked car in the city center at noon in front of passers-by. The police couldn't be everywhere at once, and the people were too smart.  
Too many so-called decent citizens, apparently driven to robbery and acts of vandalism because of boredom and the prevailing anarchy.

Shepard didn't want to sit around any longer and see what would happen next; she was now focused on the road. The street she was driving down resembled a battlefield. All the parked cars were vandalized, and some were completely burned. All sorts of various detritus was laying scattered on the road, so she had to slow down a bit so she wouldn't run into a supermarket trolley, trashcan, or other items cluttering it up. From time to time she glanced from side to side. Most of the shop windows were shattered and the shops looted. Closed malls and no internet apparently turned people into animals.

For safety she drove maybe 50km/h. In front of her she saw a group of vorcha standing in the middle of the road, and unfortunately there were no police around. As always, they didn't look friendly. Shepard didn't know what to do, to speed up and hope that could scared them, or attempt to evade them while driving at normal speed? She didn't know how dangerous they could be. She was scared like never before. Jane wasn't a brave person, but this time she did something both brave and stupid - she accelerated and drove straight at them, hoping to scare and scatter them. Her Normandy wasn't designed for city driving: at higher speeds it became less maneuverable.

Shepard hoped that no unexpected obstacles would appear in the road, and that the group, no more than 300 meters away, would disperse. She was lucky; they took her for another crazy motorcycle rider and stepped back onto the sidewalk when she was less than 100m from them. Jane breathed a sigh of relief and realized how strongly she was gripping the handlebars and how hard she was straining her neck muscles.

Jane slowed down again and kept being cautious. Without looking sideways, she got on the beltway, so now she could drive little faster. Shepard had no desire to attract more attention, so instead of staying on the highway, she decided to turn off onto any of the dirt roads. She knew most of them, since she had spent a lot of her weekends on off-road trips alone.

After driving a few hundred meters on the gravel road, she decided to relax after a stressful trip out of town. She stopped the motor, took off her helmet and decided to stretch her legs. Finally she felt safe. Jane knew that in this area there were no houses or major roads. She took a few bends and did some stretching exercises, and felt how her muscles were tensed. For a moment she thought about taking out the camping stove to make the coffee she had dreamed about so much, but then she thought that it would be better to save gas and water. She would cook it on a campfire soon.

Shepard even had an idea of where to stay for the night. It could take her another two to three hours of driving, including a well-trodden road between some villages. She didn't worry about it any more than usual. Here in the wilderness it was much safer than in the city.

Normandy had no problem driving on muddy, forested tracks. Gravel roads, forgotten by everybody, were also not a problem. Shepard didn't hurry, riding slowly, with a route clearly mapped in her mind to one of her favorite places to camp. After an hour of driving the winding paths, she came to a local road. It had once been covered with asphalt, but since its construction some 20-30 years ago, all services had forgotten about it and there were more holes than actual asphalt. She would drive on this road for a few more kilometers before she would turn into the forest and reach her place.

On the horizon a car appeared. For a moment she tensed nervously. The car was sitting on the roadside. Shepard slowed and got nearer, still watching closely what was going on. In front of it she saw the silhouette of Asari, and apparently she had a problem with a car, because she was waving and jumping when she saw the oncoming motorcycle. Jane strained her eyes. There was nobody there except this Asari. She did not know what to do, whether to stop and help, or speed up and drive away. Eventually she concluded that the woman with a broken car didn't look dangerous, a rather frightened person bouncing precariously on her high heels.

_How can you drive a car in heels..._ Shepard thought for a moment and approached very slowly. If the Asari had run out of petrol, she had big problem. If it was any serious mechanical failure, it was even worse. Jane stopped her bike, but before she could take off her helmet and ask what had happened, the overjoyed woman started nervously gesturing and eagerly talking. If only Shepard could hear every word through the helmet...

"Ohforathamebutt…"

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** Yeah, in the next chapter you gonna meet miss T'Soni. Brace yourself, she's... different.**

**And yes, probably my work needs more editing etc. My (I hope good!) excuse is that I'm translating this story from my language and it wasn't even edited in original version yet.**


	3. Chapter 2 - Liara

**Soooo... Goddessdammit, meet Liara!**

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**CHAPTER 2 - LIARA**

Once again, she turned the key in the ignition. The car just croaked and did nothing; the engine was still dead. Liara furiously hit the steering wheel with her open hands. She stood on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere, on some road in awful condition, probably forgotten by all. Even with a working cell there would probably have been no reception here. She was so fuckin' out of luck. She tried once again. Nothing. If she only knew what had happened. Certainly she hadn't run out of gas. The gauge showed half a tank.

Liara hated to venture far from the city. She didn't understand the idea of vacationing in the backwoods without access to hot water, and certainly no comfortable toilet. She always felt bad when she lost reception, away from friends and acquaintances, shops and car assistance. She stepped out of the car and tried to open the bonnet, but without success. After a moment she realized the futility of her efforts; even if it opened she wouldn't know what to look for. If she wasn't wearing heels she would probably kick the tire, but she was afraid that with her luck she'd get a puncture.

She was hungry, tired, and increasingly stressed that, at this end of the galaxy, she would not meet anyone who could help her. She wanted to be home today. All morning, from the moment she got into the car, she wondered what was going on there. Was there no electricity also? What about her work? Since she lost access to the Internet and was no longer receiving corporate emails she wondered, how they were doing without her.

So many advertising campaigns were now on her head. When she left work for holidays she would always leave exact guidelines, and she tried to check emails and reply to important ones. And now for four days nothing, silence. Could they manage? And what about the damn customer who always complained and ran with each complaint to the CEO? What if her team didn't deal with that Lawson bitch this time? Maybe there wasn't point in going back? Maybe Cerberus wasn't their customer anymore and she was fired? Damn, she had also forgotten to take her meds!

"Fuck this all batarian shit!" She screamed as loud as she could. She opened her purse, pulled out a blister of drugs, and swallowed a pill with the remaining water in a bottle on the passenger seat.

_And what if no one comes past here until the evening?_ She thought, and for the first time today was afraid of something other than work. What if she had to sleep in the car? And if there were any wild animals? Because certainly there are! Varrens, pyjaks...- These thoughts did not give her peace. Then the worst idea came... How the hell to pee here?

Suddenly she heard a sound. - _Yes, a motor! Somebody is driving here!_ - She thought, and kept watch on the horizon. After a moment she saw a motorcycle, which slowed noticing her. She didn't know what to do. She waved her hands and even tried jumping, but almost fell down on the broken and uneven asphalt. She screamed help at the top of her lungs. The motorcycle drove slowly. The driver turned out to be a human, someone tall, but clearly narrow shoulders and waistline suggested that this was not a man. _Maybe it's better._ Liara thought.

The black motorcycle, with a red front mudguard stopped a meter from her. Before the rider even had time to turn off the engine, Liara, very happy and eager, didn't wait. She gesticulated nervously, and words flew at the speed of a machine gun.

"Oh for Athame butt, I'm so happy that somebody drives here! I thought this was the end of the world here! Do you know anything about cars? Probably not so different from motorcycles?" She giggled nervously and looked at the figure in a black leather jacket and black helmet, who was now able to turn off the motor bike.

"I don't know what happened, I have fuel. I tried to open the bonnet to see if there is something wrong, but I couldn't."_ Oh take that damn helmet off, I feel like I'm talking to a fuckin' Quarian... _ She thought with a little tension.

The biker finally took off her helmet, and before she could say anything, Liara continued her monologue:

"Can you help me? It's so good that you were passing through. Oh goddess, I always have problems. Well, it was lucky that the electricity went off at the end of my vacation, because if it had been on first day, then I would be completely broken. And now the car has died. You'll see what's wrong with it? And anyway I'm Liara but everyone calls me Shark."

She reached out a hand. The woman on motorcycle began to reach out to her, but after a moment's hesitation, stopped and withdrew her hand. She removed the red glove off her left hand, and then shyly took Liara's hand.

"Shark?" She asked, baffled at the strange nickname and the amount of information presented for assimilation. Liara laughed and chattered on.

"Well, maybe it sounds silly. Anyways, long ago, when I moved here on Earth, they called me that. They said you have some kind of predator. And that I'm like this shark animal- I bite in surprise and I can handle every customer. Something like that. Anyway, they call me that now. Or Sharky, if they want something from me." Liara bared white teeth in a strange grimace, which was supposed to be a smile.

"Well, and what about you?" She asked, still smiling.

"Shepard…" Jane withdrew her hand and got off from her bike, which was higher than all of the bikes Liara had seen so far. Shepard was very tall, almost a head taller than Liara in her heels. Liara also noticed that she was not so substantial. Despite her leather outfit, she seemed to be quite delicate. Liara looked at her curiously, then looked expectantly at her eyes.

"Shepard? Just Shepard? Why?"

"Jane... Shepard. But really, nobody uses my name so..."

"Ja... Shepard, do you know anything about cars?" She asked, to which Jane quickly looked away from her and at the car.

"I will try to help…" Shepard said, and opened the driver's door. She turned the key in the ignition. The engine made noise, but wouldn't start. She checked three more times and looked for a lever to open the bonnet. She stepped out of the car and looked under it.

"How did you open it? Do you already know what it could be? Will I be able to drive? Maybe it's something about the oil?" Liara nattered. Shepard briefly closed her eyes and slowly turned toward her.

"'I'm afraid that it's a clogged fuel filter... And, unfortunately, nothing can be done in these conditions."

"Absolutely nothing? It can't be unclogged or… something?"

"No…"

Liata felt immediately like she was going crazy. Inside her mind was in turmoil. What would she do now? It's all pointless! Goddessdammit!

"Can you take me to town? Or to the nearest hotel?" She almost shouted at Shepard. "I don't know what to do now. I won't stand here until I die! Not in this damn galaxy hinterland!"

"I'm... I'm not going to any major city…"

"But really, can't you give me a ride somewhere?"

"The nearest village, as far as I know, is like 30km from here and there's no mechanic or hotel. And I'm... going right here around the corner onto the dirt road…"

Shepard looked worried and did not know what else to say. Liara was no longer angry; now she was worried and perhaps even frightened. She was alone here with her broken car. And she felt like her bladder was about to explode.

"Really, you can't help... ?"


End file.
